Kindess (+ October Goal)

I must confess I’ve had my goal set for October for a good week or two now, right up to this morning – when I changed my mind.

Kindness goal

Originally, my goal had sprouted from some very motivated, very type-A thoughts of mine. These thoughts were along the lines of:

I need to try harder.

I get so close to my goals… and then I chicken out. Gah!

I’m not as disciplined as I used to be.

If I just push myself more, I know I’ll get there.

No pain no gain!

Well, this morning I decided that these thoughts, however useful they may be to some people in some circumstances, have always led me to dark places and feeling discontent.

If there’s always a slave driver whipping your back, when do you get to turn around and see how far you’ve come?

It’s true that I’m not as hard on myself as I once was, but honestly I think that’s a good thing.

Be kind

I take care of myself. I get enough sleep (even if it means a granny-like bedtime). I take time out with friends and family. I don’t let myself get too hungry. I take rest days if I’m tired. I even treated myself to an hour long massage last week!

To be able to do those things was pretty foreign to me a few years ago. I would feel like I didn’t deserve them, or that I had to achieve X to deserve them.

Well, IMO there’s too little time to think like that.

This month, I’m cultivating KINDNESS, towards myself – and trying my best to extend that to others.

(This post gets less egocentric from here, promise!)

I see loved ones around me berate themselves quite regularly. My dad had a wonderful moment recently: within the space of 3 minutes he had accidentally knocked over a glass vase and a picture frame.

No use crying

I’m still giggling thinking about it. 

I was giggling at the time too, which I’m sure was quite unhelpful, but he was quite a sight: red in the face and swearing like only a true Irish man can.

Oh Pops. Accidents happen.

I have other friends who are working long hours, even clients who I want to tell to just go home, and have some tea and an early night.

But before I start trying to get others to be kind to themselves, I guess I need to start with myself. So, that’s what this month is about.

Also, coincidentally the latest Ben Coomber podcast also touched on this (literally listening to it as I wrote this – so creepy) and it echoes a lot of my thoughts – worth checking out!

Do you have a goal for October?

Ever struggle with self kindness?


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  1. says

    Great goal! I think everyone can be a bit kinder. I always try and see things from someone else’s perspective. Why were they grumpy this morning? Or why did they snap? People aren’t innately awful, something happens in people’s lives that cause them to have bad moods or bad days. We should just try to be a bit less quick to judge and be patient. Everyone has bad days.

    • Cat says

      So true! My mind used to jump from ‘why did they say that!?’ to ‘well, they must hate me’ but now I’m starting to realise everyone has a reason for doing what they do, and it’s not always obvious (or anything to do with me!)

  2. says

    I think it is so hard, when you are stressed, to react kindly to someone else- I think I am a pretty patient person but I have days when I think I should have been a bit more patient with someone at work, and need to remind myself that we all need help, or forget things etc.

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